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Encouragements….
October 26, 2009It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking.
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window.
The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.
Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats.Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fineview of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man onthe other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band – he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days, weeks and months passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.
She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window.
The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed. It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window..
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, ‘Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.’ Epilogue: There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can’t buy.
‘Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present.’ The origin of this letter is unknown
The irreplaceable void (A good article to read)
October 26, 20094 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. ‘cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emo ti onal needs of my child, and failed to be the da d and mum for my child.
There was one par ti cular da y, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was s ti ll sleeping. So thinking that there was s ti ll rice leftovers, I has ti ly cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.
With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long da y, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with inten ti on of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the ‘problem’… a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet and blanket!
Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explana ti on:
“Dad, I was hungry and there wasn’t anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm ti ll you return. But I forgot to remind you ‘cos I was playing with my toys…I am sorry Dad…”
At that moment, tears were star ti ng to run down my cheeks…but I didn’t want my son to see his da d crying so I da shed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a ti ght hug and applied medica ti on on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was ti me to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son’s room, and saw that he was s ti ll crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.
A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his da d and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be gradua ti ng from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a las ti ng impression on his childhood memories and he is s ti ll happily growing up.
However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This ti me, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son’s absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expec ti ng him to explain. But he wasn’t to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a sta ti onery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, ‘I am sorry, Dad’. But after much probing, I realized that it was a ‘Talent Show’ organized by his school and the invite is for every student’s mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy…..
Few da ys after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to prac ti se his wri ti ng, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was s ti ll around. ‘cos he makes me proud too!
Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It’s winter, and its Christmas ti me. Everywhere the christmas spirit is in every passer-by… Christmas carols and fran ti c shoppers…. but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the da y’s work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn’t help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ‘ I’m sorry, Dad’ and no addi ti onal reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily ques ti oned my son on his prank, during this ti me of the year.
His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy.
My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emo ti ons and con ti nued to ask him: ” But why did u post so many letters, at one ti me?” My son’s reply was: ” I have been wri ti ng to mummy for a long ti me, but each ti me I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once…”
After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say….
I told my son, ” Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldnt help opening the letter before they turn to ash.
And one of the letters broke my heart….
Dear Mummy,
I miss you so much! To da y, there was a ’Talent Show’ in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to par ti cipate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldnt help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, every da y I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am star ti ng to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why havent you appear?
After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. ‘cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife….
For the females with children:
Don’t do so much over ti me. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem. Feedback to your boss. Endless over ti me may not necessary be the answer to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care of your little precious.
For the married men:
Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even business nor clients.
Try thinking this way, are you able to work ti ll your clients are totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this society, no one is indispensable.
Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious and your loved ones.
For those singles out there:
Beauty lies in loving yourself first.
With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don’t let your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more than your well being.
